Happy Friday — we’re back with more Hot Bones and a new suggestion for Charlottesville residents on what to do when you drive all the way to Dulles only for your flight to get delayed. Now you can go to the Sloomoo Institute in Tysons. It’s a giant slime playground.

Not sure any of us were asking for the crossover hit between nature and gluey plastic, but here we are. At the new institute you can:

Sloomoo is for kids and adults. And corporate events.

Do one long thumb scroll for more Cville-specific updates like local events, cool houses, and pets to adopt.

🐶 Speaking of: Cooper! Big brown eyes and floppy ears and a heart full of gold. He’s in need of a low-stress home where he can feel safe and secure (hound mix, 7 months).

I think we know each other well enough by now to share this story.

When I was in high school, I spent a semester at a gap program in Colorado. I still got all my class credits, but I’d say 90% of what we did was ski, hike, not bathe, and then ski more. If you know me now, this may come as a surprise.

But as a 16-year-old, I had less hygiene hangups. I’d also done pretty much no research before signing up and flying out to Denver.

Me and my red duffle arrived at campus on a late January afternoon. Besides a few low-lying wooden buildings and stands of pine trees, everything was drifts of perfect, fluffy snow. My icy Mid-Atlantic heart grew three sizes that day.

Since this was Colorado, one of our main expeditions that semester was spending two weeks skiing in the backcountry (amazing) and living in the backcountry (less amazing). And when I say living, I mean sleeping in snow igloos, cooking in snow fortresses, daydreaming under bright blue skies, reading Emerson by headlamp, and using the lavatory. In snowdrifts. With skis on.

To be fair, before we left campus we did get a tutorial. But remember, these are teenagers! All the girls giggled and vowed that we never even went #2. The boys made gross jokes. And our math teacher drew diagrams on the whiteboard to explain the geometrical precision required.

The trick, we were told, is to not ski away when you’re in the act — while also not shitting on your skis. These were expensive after all and other students would have to use them next semester.

In retrospect, I think all 40 of us kids were thinking the same thing. I did not sign up for this. This was not in the brochure. I would like to go home now please.

And then suddenly, there we all stood: At the trailhead, massive packs on our backs and fat skis strapped on our feet to keep us from sinking through four feet of powder. There was literally no way out. They’d taken our flip phones long ago.

Ah, sorry. I didn’t mention this earlier but there was also no toilet paper.

“Why would you need TP when you have sticks and snowballs?” our head of school had responded when we were packing everything up. “Better for the earth too.”

Everyone giggled, not yet good enough friends to band up and mutiny.

“This is literally the only thing that could make high school worse,” I thought to myself.

We were doomed.

I think most of us made it a few days into the expedition before having to deal with the insanity, but eventually all those frozen bagel bites need somewhere to go. And the answer to that is … downhill into avalanche territory.

REDACTED section because remember, girls don’t poop. Please enjoy these pixelated photos from my 2008 digital camera instead.

It was rough. And cold. And wet? Never believe a school principal who says snow Charmin is a viable option.

Suffice it to say, pooping on skis in sub-zero temps is an incredibly complicated process. Mentally and physically challenging. Many zippers. In fact, I’d say it’s so hard it could be an Olympic sport.

Which is why, for the past two decades since I emerged from that backcountry ski trip, I’ve been petitioning the International Olympic Committee to swap the shooting portion of the biathlon for “ski toilet.”

So far no luck.

But listen, I have a reason for that roundabout intro.

This week, all the big, serious media outlets are only talking about one thing when it comes to the Milan-Cortina Winter Olympics: how little snow there is in Italy.

They’re focusing on how the Winter Olympics are becoming a fragile, unreliable event in a rapidly warming world. It’s getting harder and harder to host them. More outdoor events are now indoor events (ex ice hockey, figure skating), and temporary fixes like using artificial snow only exacerbate the “hot planet” problem in the long run because of the energy and water required.

Plus, sponsorships by fossil fuel companies aren’t great.

This is all true and also a major downer of a conversation. That’s why I led with my snow toilet story! Really takes your mind off the bigger issues.

Thankfully, there are good things happening here too. The Milan-Cortina Winter Olympics are expected to draw millions of viewers (nearly 29 million watched the opening ceremony for Paris), so it’s also a great opportunity to showcase what is possible when it comes to climate solutions.

I’ve created a chart to help us balance the good and the bad.

Preventing the Winter Olympics from becoming the Summer Olympics is not your personal responsibility. In fact, you may be incentivized to push for more summer and less winter activities, primarily to reduce the probability you’d ever be in a “ski toilet” situation.

But when I feel helpless about problems I can’t solve, I like to at least know a few ways that can begin to turn the tide. In this case, G and I are hosting an Opening Ceremonies watch party tonight. Here are three things we’ll be doing.

🍝 Making pasta that’s heavy on veggies, light on meat: Exploring plant-based food options is one of the most impactful ways we can help the planet. Plant stuff is also often cheaper and way better for your health than meat.

🍷 Serving natural wine to help our guests avoid hangovers: Everyone at our party is in their 30s, so this is important. Natural wine avoids chemicals used to grow grapes, includes little to no preservatives like sulfites in the aging process, and is minimally filtered. The rumor is that less sulfites = less Bloody Mary’s needed the next morning.

🫙 Leveling up our leftover storage: Normally, G and I default to using our flimsy, washed and rewashed takeout containers because they’re always at the top of our container drawer. But tonight I’m finally going to go the distance and pull out the plastic-free, glass-made food containers from the bottom.

And most importantly, before our guests arrive we’ll be checking the powder room to make sure we’ve replaced all the sticks and snowballs with real toilet paper.

Feb 14 is next Saturday. What’s the most romantic spot in Cville?

Cast your vote (or write yours in), and we’ll announce the winner next edition.

🏈 Meal of the week: Botanical’s Super Bowl menu is live, including loaded crispy tater tots. All plant-based. Pre-orders close at 5pm on Saturday for pickup on Sunday.

🏠 Cottage of the week: 1940s Cape Cod cutie with incredible archways in the entry, built-in dressers in the upstairs dormers, and a new HVAC system (3 beds, 2 baths, $325k in downtown Gordonsville). It’s on a massive lot.

🏡 Cool rental of the week: Charmer cottage right behind the Corner. Absolutely insane fieldstone fireplace and rafter situation, fully remodeled bathrooms, kitchen sink so small you couldn’t possibly clean a single pan (2 beds, 2 baths, $3,945/month).

👟 No running is required: I just learned the Charlottesville Ten Miler donates all race revenue to local nonprofits, including Cville Community Bikes. But the amount of funds these orgs receive depends on how many people volunteer to assist with the race. To help get more people on bikes, consider joining the cause. Just make sure to select Charlottesville Community Bikes in the dropdown menu.

🎙️ Long listen: Great interview with George Saunders (the guy who wrote Lincoln in the Bardo) about his new book, Vigil, which is about an oil exec haunted by ghosts on his deathbed.

💼 Cville job of the week: Policy Associate at East Point Energy (in-person preferred, no salary listed).

💾 Remote job: Operations and Program Support Manager for the Southeast Sustainability Directors Network (full time, $70k - $75k).

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